I wrote this paper but I got 7 out of 10 and I need to fix it because I got some comments from my professor the paper should focus more in the dependent variables and the independent variables . this are the comments I got from my professor :
This is a good start on putting together some ideas about the civil war in Iraq. Remember that your goal here is to identify the independent and dependent variables in each case. So I thought what you had been saying before is that your thesis will be that outside intervention makes the civil war longer.
- Was there an outside intervention?
- How long did the civil war last?
- Describe outside intervention (from Iran and the United States, and others if any)
- Explain how the civil war lasted
also I have a sample from my friend paper but she have different topic so please do not plagiarize something it is different but I only want you to see the way she wrote it